Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Xpired Supers- final script

1. Therapist-
2. Superman-
3. Poison Ivy-
4. Mr. Fantastic-
5. Rogue-
6. Cyclops -

Narrator: A typical day in the city of Metropolis… and from the 11th floor of Municipal towers, vigilant eyes are tirelessly scouring the skyline for ne’er-do-wells and good-for-naughts… Mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent, the erstwhile hero Superman!!!

Fantastic: Clark! Clark! Hey, come away from the window, the meeting’s going to start soon.

Superman: But wait, I think I see a kitty-cat stuck in that tree down there!

Fantastic: Uh, no. That’s a fire hydrant, and that’s a dog. Where are your glasses at?

(Knock on the door)

Therapist: Ah, the newest member of our group is here. (goes to open door)

superman: Wait, let me use my x-ray vision to see who it is. squints) Wonder Woman?

Therapist: No, try again…

Superman: It’s… batman! Wait, he never had any powers…

(Therapist opens door and Poison Ivy Enters)

The entire group instinctively gets up in reaction- loud commotion, seats being pushed back, etc., All talking at once.

Superman: What is she doing here?!

Therapist: Now, now - everyone calm down- she's here for the same reason as the rest of you. Please welcome our new group member. She may be a super-villain, but she needs a place of support just as much as anyone else.

Poison Ivy sits between Superman & Rogue.

Therapist: to Poison Ivy)Why don't we start off by having everyone introduce themselves. And why they're here. Pam, would you start?

Poison Ivy shares with regret, yet thoroughly enjoys the attention and the discomfort she causes the other characters.

Poison Ivy: Hi, My Name is Pamela Isley, formerly the Supervillain Poison Ivy. I used to be able to produce powerful toxins and love potions which I used to control and subdue my enemies and victims. I also was able to create mutated deadly plants, which were under my total control. But I lost my super powers about a week ago. I guess I’m OK with not having them…hasn’t really changed who I am…but I do feel a bit lost …like, what next?! I can’t manipulate people like I used to…

Therapist: thank you for sharing, Pamela. (clapping)

The other characters slowly, reluctantly clap as well. Poison Ivy smirks, pretending to not know that she is bothering others

Therapist: Scott would you share next?

Cyclops: Hi, my name is Scott Summers. It’s been 3 months now since I’ve lost my super powers. I was formerly known as the X-man, Cyclops. Professor Xaxier found me as a kid and and I eventually became one of the team leaders. I possessed the mutant ability to project a concussive beam from my eyes. I had to intensely focus to control the eye-blast but required special glasses to shut off and block the optic blasts.

Rogue: He says he's doing very well, but he still thinks he needs the glasses when he’s outside around people.

Poison Ivy: So you don’t need these then!(Taking sunglasses from his eyes, and puts them on) how do you SEE through these?

Cyclops quickly closes his eyes and covers them w/ his hand.

Cyclops: No! Are you insane!?! My powers could come back at any time! I could burn a hole right through somebody!

Ivy tries to take his hands from his eyes. The Therapist tries to calm them down. Therapist goes over to them and steps in front of Ivy.

Therapist: That’s not helping… Scott, its OK…you can open your eyes…you’ve done this in my office several times now and didn’t wreck the place, right? Come on! Remember- Baby steps! Baby Steps to open your eyes…

Cyclops shakes his head like a kid, eyes shut, unconvinced. The rest of the characters encourage him to take peek. Very slowly, he opens one eye…then the next. And nothing happens, to his relief.

Therapist: Why don’t you share next, Reed.

Mr. Fantastic: Ok-name, Reed Richards, aka Mr. Fantastic, leader of the Fantastic Four. I was a scientist. My colleagues and I were exposed to cosmic radiation which triggered mutant changes in their bodies. One of those colleagues is now my wife. Anyhow, my mutant powers included the ability to convert the mass of my entire body into a highly malleable state at will.

Superman: It’s still in a malleable state (jokingly muttered aside)

Poison Ivy: in English, please?

Mr. Fantastic: I was stretchy. And I relied on my powers for so many tasks, both big and small. I owned my mutant powers… it became who I was and why I was on this Earth. Sooooooooo, you can imagine…how hard its been for me to try to lead the Fantastic Four with NO powers. This year has been so hard – especially due to the fact that my wife, Susan, a.k.a. The Invisible Woman still has her powers. She says she doesn’t love me any less….but I know that look in her eyes…she doesn’t look at me the same. I don’t think I’m enough for her. I didn’t realize how out-of-shape I was until I lost my power to change my appearance, now she’s got me on a diet, and exercise regimen… Plus, I think the others think they need a new leader for the Fantastic Four…WITH powers! They've taken to calling themselves the Fantastic Three Plus One!

Mr. Fantastic puts his face in his hands…in shame and hopelessness. Superman pats his back reassuringly.

Superman: There, there, citizen.

Therapist: It’s OK, let it out…

Ivy: (to Superman) Can you bend that steal beam with your head?!

Superman, who is in denial about losing his powers, nods in confidence and proceeds quietly to try to bend it behind his neck.

Therapist: (ignoring Superman & Ivy and trying to move the attention off of Mr. Fantastic who is very upset and pretty much lost his composure…)Marie, perhaps we could hear from you next.

Rogue: (timidly starts…southern accent) Hi, my name is Marie, but you can call me Rogue. I used to be a part of the X-MEN family until…until, well, you know - lost my powers. When I was younger, I was misled and abused my powers against people – eventually Professor Xavier took me in and taught me how to control my mutant powers and use them for good.

Poison Ivy: (doing her best Scarlett O’Hara) My, my - well, of course - ah do declare! Ah have always depended upon the kindness of strangers! (ah, be a man!!!)

Therapist: (giving Ivy a disapproving stare) please continue…

Rogue: Yeah, well, as I was saying… I lost my mutant powers about 4 months ago. With one touch, I had the ability to absorb other mutant’s powers- their memories, knowledge, talents, physical abilities, even personality traits- May sound cool, 'cept I was real lonely. I had to keep my distance. I couldn’t touch another person without temporarily absorbing that person's abilities and rendering em unconscious! (starting to get upset)

Poison Ivy: Awwwwe, poor wittle Rogue…did that make you feel like a freaky outsider?

Rogue: Look, there's a reason why I have trouble getting close to people!! The first boy I ever kissed as a teenager…I put him in a permanent coma! How would anyone take that!?!

Ivy: So, I can’t do….. THIS?

Ivy jumps up and puts her hands on Rogue’s face

Rogue: No! stop! Let go!!!

Ivy: (laughs) See, you aren’t sucking the life outta me! (tearing gloves off) you don’t need to wear these!

*montage* Rogue in astonishment and amazement starts to trust that her mutant powers are gone. She goes over to the Therapist to shake his/her hand slowly. Therapist gives her a hug.*

Therapist: Ok, now we are making good progress folks. (Walks over to look down at Superman, who is still trying to bend the steel bar) Ok, Clark, will this be the week you have a breakthrough?

Superman looks up, half-listening… didn’t really hear the Therapist since he wasn’t paying attention.

Superman: Huh? What was that? (He stands to attention) you need someone to break through a car to save a little girl?!

Superman starts to run out. Shaking his head, the Therapist chases after him and guides him back to his seat.

Therapist: Noooooooooo, Earth to Clark! I asked you to share next with the rest of the group.

Superman: (sighs) Oh, ok… (monotone) Hi, my name is Kal El, also knows as Superman, I currently defeats dastardly villains, like (points at Ivy) her. (suddenly perking up, cheerily nonchalant in his boasting) My powers are limitless I have super-strength – probably the strongest superhero on Earth, I can fly, my skin in nigh invulnerable, I can survive outerspace, I have super-speed, I have super-hearing, super-vision, Heat Vision, and Ice Breath! And I use my powers to fight for Truth, Justice, and the American Way!

During this speech, the characters roll eyes, yawn, shaking their heads, generally showing signs of boredom. They know he does not have ANY of those powers anymore.
Poison Ivy slips over to Superman.

Ivy: (feigning ditziness) So, wow - you like, have super everything! Guess that’s why they call you Superman! (Superman looks up in agreement) Well, you know…I’m dying for a nice cup of hot coffee right now - you know, could you be a dear…and take a quick super-flight to Starbucks…I’d love a triple tall nonfat extra hot no foam latte please? That should only take like 2 or 3 minutes, huh?

Therapist: Please don't encourage him!(Walking between Ivy and Superman) Ok, Clark…now we’ve been through this with you over an over…for the past YEAR! You lost your superpowers going on a year now and you currently work as an editor for the city’s paper. There are no more calls from the police asking for your help, and no more trips to the moon either. We are here for you - we accept you just as Clark Kent. You are a talented writer and a great friend. I think its time to accept who you are, don’t you?!

Superman looks around the room apprehensively. The other characters look back in encouragement. Superman looks around the room and then stops at Ivy, who is giving him that smiling smirk and holding up a cup hoping he’ll take the trip. Superman gets up. The Therapists smiles thinking he is making the next step to recovery and is about to shake his hand, but then Superman walks to the window.

Superman: Ivy, I am more than capable of getting that triple latte. I am here to serve ALL humanity...

Superman opens the window and gets in position to take off. The Therapist drops to chair in shakes head.

Mr. Fantastic: Here we go again.

Superman puts his hand out to stop anyone from coming any closer.

Superman: No, no, I insist I shall do this good deed for the fair maid!

Superman jumps out the window. Ivy laughs. We hear the sound of his descent as the other characters continue their dialogue.

Mr. Fantastic: Every week it's the same thing!

Cyclops: What a numbskull.

Mr. Fantastic: yeah, you'd think he would get it by now...

Rogue: Don't worry I already called an ambulance.

Therapist: I’ll call Lois.

We finally hear the muffled thump as Superman hits the ground, and cut to long overhead shot of Superman sprawled out on the sidewalk below, barely moving.

Superman: (weakly) I’m… ok…

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